Dear U,
A new season of pink blue skies is upon this region and worth celebrating with early morning brisk walks, inner smiles, and awe.
I am not sure the following text will make total sense for you. I hope some of it does.
I am also including a video posted earlier in the week on YouTube, where I read and reflect on a couple of passages on truth and illusion - recorded back in January, I believe.
When things don’t go our way, we humans (this paradox of a species!) are known to punish - ourselves and/or others.
I am no exception, though I’m on the case!
I too am tempted to criticise / blame / judge what is not fair according to “me”. But I know that, ironically, this only further attaches me to the very thing I don’t want.
Reacting is what’s most at hand. Accepting implies a journey - a journey “home”, closer to the truth of who one is and can be.
Not enough to say “I accept”. For that to be true, the psyche must be freed from the grip of judgment. Then we can meant it, speaking from an unburdened heart.
No easy task. But made easier by this realisation:
I may have this in me, but it’s not who I am. I don’t need to condemn myself for my struggles, nor remain haunted by a thousand intrusive thoughts. I notice and acknowledge them, and that is as far as I need to go. No need to kneel to a single one.
“Standing firm” is how I align with my inner adult. The more I invest my energies into this, the less inclined I will be to take it out on others (silently or verbally) believing anyone owes me anything.
I believe this whole thing is archetypal. It’s in all of us. It takes great discernment and growth to not be led into temptation - a major prayer we are sure to need (in whatever version resonates), for we can’t get there on good intentions alone. Who can claim never to have thought / acted judgementally = lovelessly toward a fellow human?
Relationships have their challenges and their storming phases. Can we comprehend that, in a sense, they are impersonal?
When I’m triggered by or angry at someone, it’s not about that person. Someone else would push my buttons just the same. One of the reasons I take to mindful practices is so I remember this before it’s too late.
Now, sometimes it’s kind of meant to be too late - the storm must rage. But then comes the bonanza, reminding us that casting a stone in judgment denies the truth of our shared innocence.
May we stand in the eye of the storm, invoking our internal guidance and supporting ourselves as best we can when it’s not looking good. Refraining from making it worse than it needs to be is, in and of itself, a major accomplishment. It requires tremendous faith when we just don’t see the light - in a situation or in another person.
And isn’t this the lesson? Learning to trust, learning to see through illusion…
For all I know, I might be forever tested, especially in the areas of life where I tend to doubt or be brought to my knees more. Dark nights of the soul that are likely to have been scheduled to make me question everything.
Those can be real downers, pushing us to the ground so we get to just be there. Maybe not fun, but a good old cry might be the way forward at that point - a mini journey from “I can’t take this anymore” to “I’m here with you, we’ll get through this”.
No overstaying our welcome here. When the energy shifts, time to heed new guidance or else the conversation could take a turn:
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Oh Hello Procrastination, I’ve been expecting you. Take a seat.”
“Sure. Let’s cry some more together, but this time type Britain’s Got Talent on YouTube and click on the Golden Buzzer videos. Or are you more in the mood for that medium that brings messages from loved ones who have passed?”
“Maybe I’ll just write the newsletter?”
“Do that later, baby!”
Time to shut the laptop. Be present to the experience. Again and again. No running away. No external stimulation, or not in excess. Just a solid friendship with oneself. Enjoying just Being.
What a joy to then appreciate other people’s company in a simpler fashion, at least for a while, perhaps exactly as they are, blessing them more and never taking their presence for granted!
In the aftermath of storm season, bored by any prior insistence on how things should be, exhaustion is liberation. We need rest now. We let it be. We magnetise a pink blue sky. Until the winds rise again.
Thanks for Being there,
N
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